The not so good days

I think I'm going thru a quarter life crisis. I hate that word though, crisis. Makes it sound like I'm on the edge ready to fall off at any moment. We've been looking at places because I'm really growing to hate the one we're living in now. We went to see an amazing log cabin house 35 mins away from the city. It was beautiful, magnificent, amazing. It was even owned by someone from back home who had kids that Ayla could play with. There was a lake right around the corner, a huge backyard, heated ceramic floors and a fireplace? I started to daydream about us living there and waking up every morning and feeling as if we were out camping for the summer.

It was too small. A lovely open concept but only two bedrooms. No room for my sewing, no room for all the junk we've accumulated. We'd have to sell things. Our modern Ikea furniture would be out of place. We started over when we moved out here, I'm not sure I'd be willing to do that again. It was slightly out of our price range as well, for the size, considering we'd be downsizing. But it was lovely. I told them yesterday that we'd take it. I felt elated but then doubtful. Were we doing the right thing? How would we pay the bills and save at the same time plus pay off our student loans. I began to get really doubtful. They called back the next day to confirm. I told them we didn't want it anymore. Now I'm having my crisis. Wondering what we're living for, why we wake up in the morning to slave away at our jobs. I also discovered I owe on my taxes this year because my company didn't deduct enough. Now they'll have to take an additional $300 dollars off my paycheck every month so that I won't have to pay next year. It hasn't been a very good day. But the wheel keeps turning and life goes on... I wish we could have had that log cabin house.